The Green Grass

View from the Slovak side of the basilica of Esztergom, Hungary

The week before last was not so good. With a spine 'stuck' in various places, sleeping had become a restless affair with tossing and turning and never being comfortable. The weather had been grey, bleak and cold. Lack of sleep was having an effect on my moods. The lack of response by local people was getting to me as well. Almost everyone looks chronically depressed, aloof and unfriendly.

Last Friday I went hunting for a chiropractor. Called here and there and everywhere in Bratislava, Slovakia and Budapest Hungary. In the end with the help of a man next door in the town's office was able to help and locate someone in... Sturovo of course. No phone, but I went over and he was there. The premises looked a bit, well run down to say the least. The table looked more like a butchers block. Things just look different here I reminded myself, hoping that the looks were not an indication of the service offered. He spoke some German making communication possible. Next Monday he could see me, costs SK300 or NZ$15, awfully cheap for New Zealand standards. Again my mind was beginning to doubt his credentials... as long as he fixes my neck instead of breaking it. I had little choice.

That night I went to the thermal pools and had a massage, again cheap, butcher block like table with no space for the head to rest without twisting the neck. The guy worked up a sweat, working hard, slapping tons of cream loaded with 'deep heat' setting my back on fire. The whole exercise had little effect as he just repeated a limited amount of massage stokes over and over, without going deep or working on any specific area of tension. The experience put further doubt in my mind about the upcoming session on Monday with the chiropractor. I bought a decent desk chair on Saturday to improve my posture while sitting at the computer. That made an immediate difference.

Main street Sturovo with Basilica of Esztergom in the background

Monday 10am, on the butcher block of the 'csonkovacs' (Hungarian for bone-smith, a very trust encouraging term), with no questions asked he began with a massage, similar to the one on Friday, with the same fiery lotion but slightly better in quality. Hmmm did he think I came for a massage or a manipulation? I decide to wait and see and trust this man, again I did not have any options but surrender. Maybe he just wants to loosen my muscles before starting the amnipulation of the spine, which is really a good idea, something practitioners in New Zealand often do not make time for. After 15 minutes he said "Kein Spannung Heute", which means something like: no tension today. I took that as my cue to relax so he could manupulate my spine, and sure he did. Thank God he knew what he was doing and straightened out my spine, what a relief. I went back to the thermal baths that day to sooth my body.

Sleep improved every day since, pains decreased, and with some Feldenkais and other exercises I am now much better, maybe see him one more time. My mood improved too, and so did the weather. The Indian summer is back with sun and lunchtime temperatures in the low 20's. I can throw open the French doors of the studio and have lunch outside, ahhhh.

I am beginning to learn that the lack of willingness of locals to engage with me has nothing to do with me, or the fact that I am a stranger. It is just their way of being and is not due to a perceived lack of friendliness, politeness or the presence of chronic cultural depression. Things are just different and attaching the above labels is just a defensive ego strategy, trying to justify my way of being and maintain a sense of who ‘I’ am. Being able to recognise that the nature of the ‘mirror’ is just that, the nature of the ‘mirror’ and not a reflexion of me is a relief. My ego does no longer need to be defensive and judgemental of others in order for ‘I’ to just be me. For me to act like them would be unfriendly, inpolite and be depressing as it is not my nature ( so I like to believe). Now that I understand the situation, I am able to ‘tone down’ my ‘friendliness’ so I won't embarres locals without actually being unfriendly on the inside. My soul is still smiling.

View from the Slovak side of the basilica of Esztergom, Hungary at 4:30pm

I hope I will be able to maintain this mindset and no longer be affected by the perceived bleakness of this environment. All I need to do is look across the riverbank at night and enjoy this beautiful view to remind myself about the lesson learned this week. No longer is the grass greener on the other side of the border. I can see the 'green grass' and let it be part of me without the need to be there.

View from the Slovak side of the basilica of Esztergom, Hungary at night

Every week I discover more delicious things in the shops. I found 2 packets of Dutch coco, which I hoarded straight away. The local coco is much weaker, and yesterday I came home with fresh basil, chives and parsley plants, yeahhhh fresh greens! It was the first time I saw the plant for sale. Buy while you can is still very much a necessity as who knows when it will be on the shelves again.

This weekend I am having my first visitor, Mala from New Zealand, who will ‘surf my couch’. Something I am looking forward to.