Stranded?

Apparently I once replied: “it will be alright”, when asked “what would you say to me if you were my guardian angel?” I wish I remembered to ask myself that question when I interpreted disruptions of my travel plans as being shipwrecked away from the flow of life.

I was scripted to believe that being in control of one’s life is a good thing and that uncertainty needs fixing rather than surrender and trust it will turn out all right. Practicing surrender has possibly been the biggest challenge of my journey. I would like to think that I have done well, but have I really? Last week my ability to surrender was once again put to the test.

I learned that the validity of my visa for India started the day it was issued rather than the day I first entered the country. Having booked a departing flight on the last day I thought was O.K. had suddenly become an illegal act. Having to leave India 2,5 weeks earlier than planned was not the issue, but something else was.

I was able to change my flight from India to Singapore, but not a second connecting flight to Sydney, leaving me potentially stranded for 2,5 weeks in a city too expensive for my budget. Panic set in, fueled by a fear of shortage of money and perceived lack of control over my life. I had forgotten that the smoothest parts of my journey were times I had let go of control and surrendered to the flow of life.

I frantically attempted to regain control by searching for a new connection, but found none. It was not until I became aware of my re-action to the situation that I was able to surrender. Oh, how wonderful it felt. Instead of spending hours in an Internet café trying to find alternatives, I could now return to life at the beach. I no longer viewed getting stranded in Singapore as a problem in need of a solution. I was even able to consider the possibility of effortlessly boarding the plane as a stand-by passenger. Who knows where the flow of life will take or keep me?

No doubt I will come across more tests. This one was a timely reminder of the benefits of surrender. Does that mean I just sit back and wait for life to happen? No, I don’t. When I stumbled across a job-seek website for Australia and spotted two interesting vacancies, I applied. I sowed seeds that may or may not germinate. I did my bit and returned to being once again in the here and now, to living in the moment. I am sure that if I am meant to be at an interview in Australia, I will somehow get there on time.

It does sound easy, doesn’t it, but wasn’t. An old unhealthy script from the past tried to hijack my peace, but I did notice before it got out of hand and as I did, the script lost its power over me. It was most comforting and rewarding to realise that I passed the test, and that surely will again in the future. I will happily pack this realisation as a weightless souvenir in my backpack as I am getting closer to the end of my pilgrimage in search of self.