Catching up with myself.

It is fascinating how a new location provides a different view of oneself, leading to new discoveries. That is the most rewarding part of this journey for me. I am not always happy with what I see or discover. Coming to terms with that is a healing process that I hope will provide the growth and transformation I seek during this journey.

Since my arrival I focussed on filling in the Syria-Orkney gap on my blog. So much happened during that time, so many interesting experiences, coincidences and meetings that I wanted to share but time has caught up with me and it is time to be in the here and now rather than places that, by now, are far away again.

I have begun a challenging part of filming here on Orkney, recording myself. This throws many challenges at me. I have to get comfortable with the image I have of myself, which no doubt differs from the image others have of me. In doing so I am forced to face my self-confidence (and lack thereof) and my fierce inner critic.

I have found a round window in a small lighthouse at the harbour entrance of Kirkwall, the tiny capital of these islands, that I have been using as a mirror. The window has been weathered by the elements. Scratches and dirt create a reflection of a, well, maybe damaged self-image. I seek a pure, crystal clear image of myself, but this blurry one is just perfect at this time, not too overwhelming.

The little lighthouse has become a listening post, a mirror, a beacon. It is guiding me to a safe haven, guiding me home. Home to myself rather than any particular location.
Funny, I was often called 'lighthouse' in a derogative context as a kid, because of my bright red hair. I love lighthouses.