Day 20: Rosa goes to Mardi Gras 2010 (part 1)

I never 'do drag'! I don't feel comfortable dressing in women’s clothes because... I learned from an early age that being feminine or gay and feminine was not acceptable in a hetero sexual society, even today in male gay circles it is often frowned upon.
Doing drag has therefore become a big deal for me, conditioned out of me to such an extent that I feel I can't do it even if I wished to. Going in drag feels like a bad dream in which you suddenly realise you are not wearing any clothes in public!

So I gave myself the challenge to 'do' drag. First in a semi-private and 'safe' environment at the dress-up Christmas party at work, I took on 'Rosa', a cleaning lady as my character. I was nervous beyond belief. Afterwards I realised how liberating it was, but not liberating enough. It was only a first step in claiming back the power that I had lost by being fearful in many homophobic situations throughout my life.

With this first challenge completed it was time to take the next step: taking part in drag, in public, in the Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras Parade in Sydney, Australia AND fly there... in drag.

Thank God Air NZ put on a Pink Flight from Auckland to Sydney, not much of a challenge you may think, but... internal fear was still overwhelming. I made a doll, mini Rosa, as a 'stand-in' for Rosa on the domestic flight from Wellington to Auckland as I expected it to be an ordinary flight. Taking a dressed-up doll through check-in and on a 'normal flight' was in itself a challenge. Feel the fear and do it anyway I reminded myself again and again. I filmed the trip myself, producing plenty of shaky footage, but it is the proof that I did it. I am done now with the challenge, no longer carry the fear, I have claimed back the power I lost and feel soooo much better and stronger for it.

Part 2 featuring Rosa and Mini Rosa walking in the Parade and interacting with a 300.000 strong audience, clowning around as a cleaning lady removing 99.9% of all historical homophobia, in the crowd and of course myself will follow.

Big thanks to Air New Zealand for creating the Pink Flight with all its trimmings, and special thanks for the drag queens who escorted the passengers, you were my guardian angels. You were all fabulous! XXX.

Day 19: heard my favorite music, live in Wellington.

Delighted to discover that there is a band playing my favorite music right here in Wellington. Looing forward to work with them, yay!

day 18: New Buddha Statue

I am not religeous, but I do like Buddhism a lot, as a phylosophy and I love Buddha statues. I recently bought this one for my outdoor space, it is rather large, the size I had been looking for for a long time. It was intended as an ornament and as a reminder of wonderful times spent among Tibetans, Tibetan monks and their monasteries. Someone once said to me, where ever there is an image of Buddha, Buddha energy will be present. Kind of odd as apparently Buddha never wanted any imagery of himself made for worship purposes. The first images that represented Buddha were symbols. Human shaped Buddha's came much later and probably Buddha looked nothing like that at all.

Yet, since I have this statue facing my cottage, I feel much better, a kind of peace that subtly seems to radiate from the statue. It is not a precious statue at all, just a lump of mortar shaped by a mould. It has not been blessed in any way, yet I feel it very different than the other statue besides it. I am really happy with this Buddha statue, surprisingly so. Maybe it is all in my amagination, but hey, my imagination is as much part of me as any other part. Maybe the mystery will reveal itself one day, in the mean time I will enjoy its presence. The landlord's dog Piper seems to agree and happily settle in front.