Legs Going Jelly
Between 11am and 3pm fever hits hard and legs become jelly. All energy gets sapped out of me and all I can do is rest horizontally. The fever is located in the head it seems, at least that is where I feel it most. I am quite happy to surrender. Instead of heading for the start of El Camino de Santiago I went to Lourdes. Did not plan to go here as I heard and read so many negative thoughts about the place lately. I am so glad I am here. Enjoying my time in bed and when fever subsides I go to the sanctuaries, to just be and film (lots). I was raised as a catholic, but I am not here as a catholic. Yet I feel very connected with the energy of the place. I believe in the healing qualities of water specially spring and blessed water. The warter here is both. Even if no miracle ever happened here in the past, it certainly is an energised place. So many millions invest positive energy in this place that that alone is special and for me noticably radiating back. I pray here in my own way, surrender and heal amzingly fast. Glandular fever takes months to get over. I see great improvements every day. The rituals/processions that are performed here daily are at a grand scale. That is all very much part of the ego of the religion that drives this place in my experience. Nevertheless it is great subject matter for my filming, but the personal rituals at the site of the claimed miracle are most touching and humbling to observe and have great value in my eyes. That is where many people surrender, cry, let go of ego, even if it is just for a split second sometimes. That is a privaledge to witness and for me hopefull. It encourages me to do the same. That is the gift of having fallen ill. I would otherwise never have come here and witnessed this. It is in many ways just like Daramsala in India where the Dalai Lama resides. Both places are riddled with commercial distractions that can make it difficult to experience the essence of such a place. In Daramsala it took me two days to see beyond that. Here in Lourdes I was prepared and connected immediately. I will talk later more about the qualities of the water when I have relevant information at hand. For now... I am getting ready to move on, out of the way of bad weather and heading for cheaper Spain. I am ready to move on, so I like to think. Time will tell. I wont be walking anytime soon I think, but will follow the Camino anyway.
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