And so this is Christmas…

Christmas 2006, a lonely Christmas Sturovo/Parkany on the Slovak Hungarian border.

And so this is Christmas…. And what have you done?
Another year over…

Yes that time of year again, the silly season…
Different this time
World a mess, well that’s not really news is it
And what about you?
Did you live well?
What would you do different?
What can you do differently?
Maybe you need to adapt to world changes that affect you.
There is no better time than a time of crises to make changes
I recon
Time for opportunities for change and growth
Lessons to be learned
Not necessarily easy ones
Possibly profound ones
Unexpected ones
Prickly ones
Lessons nevertheless

Christmas 2007, Varanasi, India had a home cooked Italian Christmas lunch, yes in India, why not?

I am
So you won’t be alone
Unemployed (not bored at all may I ad)
Homeless, yet with a roof over my head
So not too bad at all for now
But…
Hopefully with just enough money left
To build a small house
On a small bit of land
A debt free security I created 3 years ago
If worst comes to worse I can always camp there
But won’t come to that
I should be able to build some sort of shelter:
Healthy, homely, sustainable

Ahhhh, sustainable
No longer Looking for growth, expansions, extensions
Nope, no longer interested in playing those games.
Stopped those games a long time ago
Governments still want us to spend our selves into debt
So money keeps ticking over, till…
We’re back to square one
Not that a bad square at all
The place of rebirth
Can be a good place
I am there right now and it feels good
Surprisingly good actually
I have my moments of doubt
Fear of the unknown
But…
As one book title reads: “Feel the fear and do it anyway”.


Christmas 2008, back in New Zealand with the most beautiful Christmas tree I know, the native Pohutukawa tree, which brings us bright crimson flowers at Christmas time. I have got two in my garden.

So enjoy Christmas
This one night of peace, well…
Reminder of peace at least
That is what gets me the most at midnight
When Silent Night is sung…
We just did it in New Zealand and like a wave at the speed of sun
It will travel the Christian world
Some choose to tune in
Others choose to ignore
The choice is ours
Every day
Every night
Every time we encounter a fight

So peace I wish you all
From the bottom of my heart.
Marcel

As one story ends a new one begins.

Enjoying a moment of global perspective.

I haven’t written much on my blog the last few months, but that will change from today. Yesterday, I flew back to Wellington, New Zealand, the place I left 27 months ago on to go on a journey. With my return a new chapter in my life begins with lots to write, photograph, film and draw. I am launching into two new projects while continuing editing the film about my journey. I will blog regularly from now on about both projects as they develop.

Flying into the sunset.

The first project is my attempt to design and build an eco house on a steep block of land in Wellington. It will be a small house on a small piece of land with a small budget. I have no idea if and how I will succeed, but the way my life is and given the world’s economic situation I have little choice but to make it work. I sold my house when I left New Zealand but subdivided a small bit of land to keep so I could build a small sustainable house and hopefully be mortgage free. I am so looking forward to have a place of my own again, a base from which I can engage with the world, a base I can always return to. I hope the house will be ready in 12 months time.

Touchdown in Wellington.

The second project is much more ambitious. It is the creation of a pilgrimage route in New Zealand, spiritual in nature that begins or ends in Wellington. It is my intention to write and illustrate a guidebook, an itinerary that will show pilgrims which way to go and challenge their minds along the way. The idea for this project came as I was walking El Camino, a pilgrim’s route in Spain. At first I thought it was a rather silly idea, but when I visited Syria some months later and heard about the creation of the Abraham Path I changed my mind. I began to take my idea seriously. Now that I am back in New Zealand it is time to take the next step. This all while I will be unable to walk the route myself. The start of arthritis in my knees, that started when I walked El Camino will be one of many challenges I will have to overcome with this project. I expect the process to take a few years.

So subscribe to this blog or check from time to time if you are interested in either or both projects. As always I welcome feedback to anything I publish.

Rebuilding on Shaky Grounds

For a long time
The ground shook
Left unsupported
I left
Exhausted
Searching
For health
For Home
For Me

18 months
Following Teo
Following desire
Following cues
To heal
To discover
To film
To be me

I changed
Didn’t I
I did
Found Home within
With new exterior home to match in the forest

But the shaking began again
Dislodging the mortar between the bricks
Of my foundation
Nobody saw
Nobody felt
But me
Imbalance
Invisible to others

So I am leaving again
After 9 months in Australia
Maybe it’s time to give birth or be reborn
No
Not off to exotic places
Off to Home
The place I called home before I left
The place
When revisiting
Felt like home again
Stirring a longing
To be warm

Shaking within is the worst
Throwing everything out of kilter
Sugar levels
Moods
Temperature control
Energy
Concentration
Immune system
Spine
To name a few if not all
Symptoms of hypoglycemia

So
I am leaving the new home I found
Making me wonder
If the journey will ever end
Nothing is permanent
I remind myself

I am going Home
Home without a house
But with space for a house
A house that needs building
On a steep hill
On a fault line
Back to where I started
New Zealand

Rebuilding a life that fell apart
No turning the other way
Head on
Building a sustainable house
A sustainable future
To sustain shaky health
In shaky times
On shaky ground

Maybe part II to part I
The sequel: rebuilding on shaky ground